Permission to Breathe

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You have always prided yourself on doing everything well. More than well, you are going for flawless. You have gotten used to getting stuff done. Until suddenly, you can’t anymore. For some reason you can’t quite figure out, you can’t get yourself to do anything. You stare at your to-do list hoping, in a few minutes, you can push through the lack of motivation like you used to. It never comes.

Or maybe your brain works a little differently than everyone else. You aren’t sure how everyone else seems to manage it all. It takes all your energy just to appear like you are doing okay (whatever that means), much less schedule a doctor’s appointment or make yourself dinner. It’s exhausting.

Perhaps you have been holding it all together for so long that you are falling apart. The stress of work, caregiving, and being there for everyone else has left you empty and depleted. Somehow you became the last person on your list. It never stops.

You are allowed to slow down.

I work with people who are struggling with perfectionism and burnout from the demands of their lives — and it can grind everything to a halt. The effort it takes to get through can leave you with nothing left. Burnout can make it harder to manage daily life, connect with others, and enjoy your life. Many neurodivergent people experience burnout, often because they spend extra energy trying to fit inside a world that is not built for them. Burnout can also contribute to or be worsened by existing mental health challenges. I use a narrative approach to help clients reconnect with themselves and decide how they want to spend their time.

You get to decide what matters to you.

If you are struggling to manage the stressors of your daily life due to perfectionism or burnout, please reach out. I would love to meet you and find a way forward.

You deserve to enjoy your life, not just survive it.

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Frequently Asked Questions

  • Burnout is a term used to describe the gradual sense of exhaustion that can occur when stressors exceed your ability to cope.

    This can look like low energy, decreased motivation, sleep disturbances, irritability, changes in appetite, and physical symptoms.

    Burnout is typically a response to a stressful environment or circumstance. Symptoms of burnout can overlap with depression, but depression does not always go away when circumstances change.

  • Certain factors can increase your risk of burnout. These include:

    • Working long hours or being constantly “on”; common among caregivers and helping professions

    • Difficulty setting or maintaining boundaries

    • High personal expectations or perfectionism

    • Ongoing life stressors alongside work demands

    • Neurodivergence and masking behaviors

    Any stressors that hinder your ability to recover from stress can increase your risk of burnout.

  • If you are struggling to accomplish daily tasks, experiencing strain in your relationships, or having physical symptoms of stress like tension headaches or GI issues, then it may be a sign that you are “burnt out.”

    Speaking with a therapist may help reduce symptoms and prevent burnout in the future.

  • Perfectionism is a term used to describe holding oneself or others to high standards that may not be possible to meet.

    Unrealistic standards over time can create stress, anxiety, burnout, and relational tension.

    Perfectionism can be a long-standing pattern. It may not disappear entirely, but it can be managed so that it does not disrupt your daily life.

  • When perfectionism leads to burnout or conflict in relationships, it may be an indication that it has become a problem in your life.

    There is nothing wrong with striving for excellence, but setting unrealistic expectations can leave you feeling exhausted. You may feel like you are failing even when you appear successful to others.

  • If burnout or perfectionism has made daily life unmanageable or you have increased conflict in your relationships, then speaking with a therapist can be helpful.

    If you are not currently burnt out but know this can be a pattern for you, therapy can also help develop skills for preventing future burnout.

    This often includes setting boundaries around time and in relationships.

    Outpatient therapy is not an emergency service. If you think you may hurt yourself or attempt suicide, call or text 988 or contact your local emergency number immediately.